Sunday, April 23, 2006

what's his name again?

it seems that only a few weeks ago i was mooning over this guy, regretting the fact that i've lost him completely. and yet, here i am now barely able to remember our shared past and history. what is wrong with me? is it the work? the excitement of a new and exciting project? new friends? new opportunities?

i've lost you, blithe spirit, and i don't even know if i'm glad or sad. all i know is, the part where my heart used to be is busy breathing again. thinking of you doesn't bring me that familiar ache anymore either. i don't want to forget but it seems i am at last beginning to. i love you, there is still that. faint but still there. i love you.

i am saying this now because i don't want to completely forget either. how painful all this is. you fall out of love and it's as painful as falling headlong into passion. let me not forget him. let me not forget how it used to be between us. leave me some remnant of feeling. not this complete indifference, this utter disregard for our shared past.

i am definitely a fool.

posted by neri @ 4:53 AM 0 comments

Monday, April 10, 2006

i hate love songs

went shopping today and wished i hadn't. anywhere i go i seemed to have been followed by these pesky love songs that talks about, what else, but love and passion.
"burn", "sa kanya pa rin babalik", "how do i live" - i mean, puwede ba, tigilan niyo muna ako?

i have not been able to tolerate love songs lately. i hate hearing them. i disliked being in a cab for example and my silence suddenly broken by a voice warbling about a lost love and wishing he was here or something. i hate it. hate it! i tell you.

it makes me remember. it makes me ache. it makes me think of him. i cannot tolerate love songs. i want to enjoy them but i can't. i seem to have lost that part of me, that part where a love song is a love song and not a memory. i'm truly lost.

posted by neri @ 3:16 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

here i go again

do i really need another blog? all i do in it anyway is pour my lungs out in frustration at the things i can't change. why bother starting another one then? this is so crazy.

had a run-in with a staff this morning. really stupid guy whom i'm beginning to dislike with every passing day. really an asshole.

posted by neri @ 1:32 AM 0 comments